What is it with onions and us?

We used to grow onions on our allotment in Stalybridge that where as chubby as a baby's cheek. We grew onions in our tiny cottage garden at Drovers, they where like bunched fists spreading out over the summer into moderately sized but very tasty onions but since we've grown them at Pig Row our dreams of plaiting them round our necks, donning a stripy t-shirt, beret and bicycle has been rather shrunken down. Not even a haughty hamster would have enough to wear around their necks and the mere idea of riding through the villages on a bicycle to show off our pitiful harvest is dismissed. So, what's going wrong? 

Give your best tips for growing veg @lifeonpigrow or at www.facebook.com/lifeonpigrow

We want to throw this open to you all, come across to our Facebook Page tonight at 7:00PM (GMT) or our twitter feed and give us your best tips for growing onions. Leave comments here, we need help and the chance to show off on a bicycle in a beret! Let's chat about veg!