We've been told on social media that we are hygge. We thought this was some kind of typo, the kind of predicative text fumble that substitutes horny for honey. Which really messes up the line, 'Meet you in the pub, honey'. An ASBO later and a restraining order you wonder what went wrong and why that police officer keeps tutting at you. But, yes we're hygge. We're hygge because of this rug we won on eBay. Nice isn't it? It's hygge.
Okay, you're sat there screaming at the screen, 'What is sodding hygge?' I can't believe it's not hygge is a Danish concept and means 'cosy contentment', that's right we're cosy, who'd have believed that when we were ankle deep in manure? Yet, we are cosy or certainly our images are but they often fail to reveal the arguments that go behind it. We have been arguing about what rug to buy for months, we have looked at countless auctions, trawled around rug markets and even smiled weakly when one rug seller told us his rug was £2,000 in the sale. His hair was made of a Persian rug too. It didn't come as part of the sale. It seems rugs are a minefield, that they are uhygge – which is the opposite of hygge, uhygge means fright and unease. Even the bidding on a rug makes you uneasy and is filled with expletives. The discussion of rugs fills us with fright.
We have argued that the rug is too pink, too red, too green, that the flowers are too small, the pattern too busy and that they will clash with curtains, see them here. It became #curtaingate #ruggate and #cantbearsedgate. Friends thought we were rug bores, they offered us rugs, they offered us therapy, they told us to step back from the problem but all we could see is a space where the rug should be! After all the staining and varnishing of the old boards, we wanted something to compliment them. Yes, we are rug bores. We embrace the warp and weft of rug boredom. Did we tell you that we argued about the size of rug we wanted? That was #sizegate #girthgate and #toobloodybiggate but we won't go into that eye watering argument here. Then we won this rug. We're happy with it, there is the feeling of hygge. It washes over us, Little D embraces it by using the colours of the rug in a psychedelic Northern artwork.
It's a rug factory and those people outside are arguing about which bloody rug to buy. After all this we have decided that we want a rug in our bedroom, as long as it doesn't clash with the bedding. Uhygge beckons before the hygge, embrace it.